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Tuesday, 15 February 2011

This Valentine's Day has been pretty awesome for being a single teenager!

1, I had the entire day off of work and got to do some much needed cleaning.

2, I got to talk to my sister for the first time in awhile.

3, I got a Wii and now Im obsessed.

4, I got chocolate.

5, Made a delicious Chipotle Shrimp Scampi for dinner for my parents.

6, I reconnected with my old coworker that left about a month ago on Facebook. It took him almost a year to tell me that he was gay, but I absolutely love him for it! I saw a picture of him and his boyfriend, it made me cry tears of joy that he is so happy!

7, My friend from high school got engaged to a wonderful man, the only man to actually treat her right!

I may not have had a "real" Valentine (My best guy friend was my Valentine), but I still managed to enjoy myself and really be thankful for everyone I have in my life! This was probably the best Valentine's Day I've ever had!

Thursday, 03 February 2011

Okay I HAVE to complain. I'm really hating college. My professors are really relaxed people come in over 30 min late for a class and still are given work they missed and are counted as present. Really? These people are missing 1/4 of the class, on my campus you are only present if you miss less than 10 min of class. Thats not the only thing though..

If you come in late, PLEASE I beg you do not walk over top of people sitting in theater seats when there is an open seat right by the door or where you dont have to walk over anybody. This is annoying and distracts me.

If you come in late, PLEASE take off your metal bangles, chains, or anything that jingles and or bangs together when you walk/move your arms. Not only does this distract me, but I have VERY sensative ears and it hurts!

If you come in late, PLEASE do not stop and ask the professor what they are talking about while they are lecturing. Its not everyone else in the class' fault that you were late. Plus its rude. Just pay close attention and try to pick it up as quickly as you can.

If you come in late, PLEASE dont make a scene about it and apologize to the class, this is stupid and annoys me more than anything. Just slip in QUIETLY.

If you are going to be 30+min late to class, just don't even come. I know things happen, but you already miss a load of information by being that late anyway.

Maybe its just me, but gawd this annoys me.

Sunday, 30 January 2011

This time last year, I was dating the love of my life. His name is Gary. We've been friends since I was 10 years old (5th grade), I am now 18 (soon to be 19 and graduated!) and he is 20. I met Gary in an odd way. The day that I met him, I fell in love with my first love, also his best friend, and he started dating his first love, also one of my good friends. Through the years, I've never really gotten over my first love and Gary has dated every that we know to include my best friend (Brooke).

In about the 8th grade Gary was single for awhile and I grew to really like him. In the 8th grade Gary started dating my best friend Brooke, I never told either of them that I liked him. Everytime Brooke was telling me that she was going to marry him, I was thinking 'yea right, I'M going to marry him.' They had a very unstable relationship and broke up within a year.

My Junior year of high school, Gary and I started "dating", I never told Brooke. There's not that much a normal person would love about him. At the time, he was an 18 year old unemployed, high school drop out, that sat at home playing video games and smoking pot all day, every day. I mean really, can anyone see anything in him? I did, I saw the world in him. Today he is a 20 year old high school drop out that has attempted to go back to high school-failed, attempted a GED program-failed, finally employed as of 3 days ago after 2 years of no job, that still sits at home playing video games and smoking pot. I still see the world in him.

Late March 2010, his grandmother got sick and our relationship was on a fast track to failing due to him never talking to me and always ignoring me, and I gave him space, believe me. April 2010 she passed away and about a week later, Gary and I broke up. I was crushed because I loved him with everything I had. I wanted him back in my life, but was too hurt to confront him about it. Finally, in mid August I tried to get him back with no luck. He told me that he couldnt handle a relationship at that time. So I took that as my cue to leave him alone until he contacts me (I of course sent him birthday wishes, but that was it). I ended up emailing Brooke about our relationship and never read her response.

5 months later I found the response letter from Brooke, still unopended. I find myself thinking about him now more than ever. I find out all information on him through FB. He just seems to be popping up more and more through my newsfeed, I keep thinking about all the good times, and I even find myself taking the long way home so that I can pass by where his neighborhood is. I know I sound like a crazy stalker, but I know I'm supposed to marry him. I never think about other guys the way that I think about Gary. I can't let go. The day that I give up, is the day that he will completely move on. I can't. I will either end up marrying him or no one.

I think I'm going to go read Brookes response email and cry.

Thursday, 13 January 2011

I am officially a full time student that works. Meaning I have next to no time to myself. Its two days into the semester and already Im thinking about dropping out. Its so overwhelming.

I am taking two classes online and two "normal" classes. I was looking over my online class outline and everything looks so easy. For example one of my classes for the entire week it says read Chapter 1 & 2, fill out the question sheet, and take the quiz. Easy right? WRONG. The Chapters are 30+ pages long on normal size sheets of paper, front and back, small font, and extremely hard to read. Oh by the way, there is a reason that English is not my major, I HATE it, I HATE reading things like this, I have a hard enough time trying to concentrate on small articles. Im already ready to drop this class.

My math class is no walk in the park either. The first day was sooo hard. The homework drove me crazy. I like math, so this is unbelievable. We went over three sections, and for homework we had 60+ problems for EACH section. The plus to this class is my instructor is about 25 and very attractive.

My SDV class seems waaay too easy. Its online and my professor is very quirky. Im really interested in what he writes. Cant go too wrong with this class! Woooohoo.

My last class is history. Im not sure about this class seeing as tomorrow (today since its barely midnight now) is the first day. I really hope I like it. I used to like history in high school. Somehow Im not sure Ill like it now.

In all fairness to me, school has NEVER been my thing. I graduated in the top 200 of my class of 500, so its not like Im a failure or Im not smart. I just flat out dont like school.

My plan was to waste time away while I get in shape so that I can join the Navy while making my mother happy. I have everything relying on getting in to the Navy, if it fails I dont know what Ill do.

Thursday, 02 December 2010

This time last year, I was mentally struggling to get through my senior year of high school. I just didnt want to do it any more, I wanted to be done. (I was extremely depressed, take that sentence as you please when I say I wanted to be done) But I met an amazing person in one of my classes that changed my life within a week. Seriously, changed my life. His charm made me open up to him, but maybe it was just because I have a weak spot for soldiers. Anyway, I opened up to him and after a week I felt like I knew him inside and out. He changed me from a depressed teenage girl that didnt care anymore into a HAPPY teenager that enjoyed life and suddenly wanted every thing in the world.

Then we graduated and he went to his AIT school 350 miles away. We talked about where he was getting stationed when he left AIT. He promised me he would get stationed here because his MOS is transportation and we have an Army transportation base 45 min away from my home. I had a little faith, but I secretly thought he would get stationed over seas. I was thinking Korea or Germany, but I rathered him get deployed for 6mos-1year than to be away for 2years. I know, I sound crazy.

Near the end of his AIT, he texted me telling me he got stationed in Germany. He admitted he was scared, which scared me. Oh did I mention my mom had the same MOS as him nearly 30 years ago and was stationed in Germany?! I think its crazy he got stationed the same place my mom did 30 years ago.

He came home 2.5 weeks ago for his leave and left this past Sunday. I cried and cried and cried. I wont see him for at least 2 years. And now today(thursday) I found out that not only was he stationed in Germany, but FEB 2011 he will be deployed to Afghanistan. I guess I got my wish and now I dont want it to happen :(

I have never been such great friends with someone of the opposite sex let alone opposite skin color. (race has never been a problem for me my mom is german, dad is korean, brother is mexican, and my uncle is black; i was just stereotyping of course) Ever since he left for AIT in August my mood has been low and I need someone to lift my spirits.Im sad that I have to watch him walk away for at least 2 years. Im definitely looking forward to the day that he comes knocking on my door!